I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize