I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
