If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
