i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
