I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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