You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
