I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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