I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
