If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
