Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
