i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
