they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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