Those balls look pretty dangerous.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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