He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
