Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
