I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
