This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Boobs speak an international language.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
