I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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