I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
