fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize