did you get engaged???
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Randomize