Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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