how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
