so let's talk penis.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
