Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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