Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
