He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
