he shaved USA in his pubs
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
