You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
