Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
