i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
