It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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