i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So vagazzling was a success
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
