you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
