He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize