i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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