$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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