It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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