Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
