woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
