The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize