My friends, they love my intelligence
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
