We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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