it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
