I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
