come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How's work?
Spinning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
