Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we're making bets on your personal life
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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