She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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