I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
