it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
