i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
