Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
