You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
