Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
