i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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