Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
now i know why i became what i already was.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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