why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
