yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
