Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
