Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there is puke in my bra ... again
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
