New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
