just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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